da Sweets: April 2007

I've been reflecting. With 2 weeks to go until my Jersey turns one, my mind and heart have been going back time & time again to the day she was born.

Here is her story.

The birth of Jersey Christine.

The beginning of my journey with Jersey began at around 1pm Monday, May 1, 2006. I knew her birth was soon approaching but when labor would officially start, I didn’t yet know. I had prepared a labor CD of a few intimate worship songs that I would use during labor, so I decided to take it for a test run. I was experiencing contractions though at this point they weren’t that strong and definitely not consistent. I went into Brian’s office, put my CD on and sat in the orange chair. I felt this sudden need to connect intimately with my Jesus as I know I would need Him so desperately in the hours to come. What followed were some of the sweetest moments I’ve ever had as He revealed to me the depth and beauty of what I would soon experience. I sat there, overwhelmed with emotion at what would soon take place. It was a sweet time with Him for sure.

By 8pm Monday night I knew labor for me was here. I spent the next several hours laboring at home with Brian – so attentive and so sweet to me. It was quiet and peaceful, just as I had dreamed. We timed my contractions using this cool website Brian had found days before. It made things very simple for us. As my labor intensified we moved upstairs. The mood changed. I was now truly focused on my mission to get my girl home.

At around 1am we knew it was time to head to the birth center and a call to our midwife confirmed it. Brian was laughing at me because although I was in intense active labor I was walking around the house fluffing pillows on the couch and straightening the bed. Everything had to be perfect for my sweet girl’s homecoming. Before we left the house I had one last thing I needed to do. I called my sister, Nicole for my “you can do this, you were made for this” talk. She was amazing. I didn’t realize that I was scared until I heard her voice and then I lost it. She was definately my strength and encouragement at that moment. Brian talked to my brother and he sent his encouragement as well. It was really sweet.

We gathered our things and headed out the door. Two pillows, a suitcase with way more outfits than I would ever need, a diaper bags full of pink blankets, diapers, and passies, and the sweetest coming home outfit for my daughter to come.

It was on our drive to the hospital, as Brian enjoyed the “right” to run red lights as every husband loves to do, that we decided for sure that God’s name for our daughter would be Jersey Christine. And that is who she was.

I will never forget the walk from the car up to my room at the birth center. There was anticipation and intense focus all at once along with this awareness of onlookers glancing on with smiling faces. I was a star. ☺ We got to our room and within 15 minutes, the worship music was on and I was in the birthing tub. I was 6 cm. The moments that followed were beautiful and intense and somewhat scary. I loved that for the most part it was just Brian and I in the room. Calm and safe. My husband was incredible. So attentive, so sensitive, so sweet and oh so strong. He was right there for every contraction inspiring me on. He walked me through each moment.

At around 4am I felt things were changing, and with my midwife’s orders I got out of the tub and into the bed. That is when transition hit me like nothing before. With my first contraction of transition I said what I hadn’t yet said. “I can’t do this.” Which is the tell tale sign of transition. The pain from the contraction was completely consuming and intense mixed with serious nausea and throwing up. Lovely. Between my first and second contraction I remember laying over this birthing ball with my midwife sitting beside me holding my hand, hearing what would become the most meaningful worship song to me. With barely enough strength to breath a word, I sang along with tears in my eyes, “I need you Jesus to come to my rescue, where else can I go?” Brian told me later that it was a such a powerful moment. My midwife sat there watching me with tears in her eyes. Jesus was now carrying me the rest of way.

At 10cm I began my 3 hours of pushing. This was for me the hardest part so far. I used strength I didn’t know I had. Something in me took over. It was time.

At around 8am my midwife informed me that the baby wasn’t coming down and felt like we’d need a little help. She suggested the vacuum. Brian told me later that knowing how passionate I was about natural labor and delivery that he was pretty impressed by how quickly I agreed to the change of plans. He was so sweet. He turned to me and said so calmly, “Babe, what do you think, what do you want to do?” I was ready. Let’s do it.

They moved me over to Labor & Delivery and began preparations for the birth. Dr. Hughes came in and to my surprise started prepared the forceps. (I thought we were using the vacuum) When he put the forceps in, I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until my next contraction when he told me to push that I screamed like no woman has screamed before. Nell, my midwife looked at my doctor and said, “She hasn’t had drugs.” He just sort of slowly backed up realizing he needed to be a little more gentle. Yeah. I literally didn’t know how I would do this. I had never experienced pain so deep and consuming. From everything I’ve heard it doesn’t compare to a normal delivery. We were on a different level. I was in a panic and felt completely out of control. Brian was on one side of me with constant encouragement, and Nell was at my feet. She began to move from where she was standing and I cried out, “Nell, don’t leave me.” Of course, she wasn’t but simply coming up to be near my face to help me through the rest of the delivery.

I remember crying to her saying, “I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” She held my head in her arms and said to me, “Yes you can, you remember why you’re doing this. You think of that baby.” At that moment I drew the line in the sand. I decided the pain would submit to me I had to do this. One last push and my baby would be born. I knew I had to completely ignore the pain and push like I never had before. With that her tiny head was out. Let me just tell you it didn’t feel tiny. I gave one last little push and our Jersey Christine was born. They immediately took her over to a warming table right next to me to make sure all was well due to the forceps delivery and the meconium that was in my water. I was in heaven anyway. I told Brian to go be with her, that I was ok. He was overcome.

Brian said before that the story of our daughter’s birth was too special to write out in a short paragraph. When he saw her for the first time he was completely overtaken with emotion. He could not speak. He kept thinking, “there she is – she’s the one we’ve been talking to for the last 9 months.” He told me that words could not paint a beautiful enough picture to share those first moments with her. He could not hold back the flood of tears as he stared continuously at his beautiful baby. Welcome to the world little Jersey – your Daddy is completely enthralled by you.

When I first saw my baby girl, a deep wave of emotion completely came over me. She’s here, my sweet little girl. I couldn’t believe I was finally looking at her. There was nothing that couldn’t prepared me for the moment she was placed in my arms. I completely lost it. She’s my daughter and she was so perfect. Those next moments were spent gazing at this tiny miracle that had just entered my life. Brian and I began to sing over her the song we had sung to her so many times while she was in the womb. We could barely sing. We were overcome. This was a different emotion – the beginning of one of the most intense loves I had ever experienced.

Jersey Christine Sweet, we welcome you here. You are our delight.